"You catch a bus ride over to the old military base, where no one seems to question your presence as you pop-shove it over Black Hawk helicopters and hurricane-grind through the soldiers’ mess. Hours pass and eventually you accept a mission to pop a backflip over a four-star general. Your sick moves are interpreted as hostile action by the MPs, who pistol-whip you behind the aircraft hangar and ship your board to Guantánamo for interrogation."